How to write banter that sparks and sizzles: 10 tips

When I first started writing Shelf-stable Love, my tenth novel (but first rom-com!), I knew I wanted the dialogue to crackle like a fresh baguette crust—sharp, satisfying, and just the right amount of warm. This book is a romantic comedy about two strangers who meet by chance at a movie theater and bond over a cheesy rom-com called Love and Honeybuns. What starts as a spontaneous connection leads to an unexpected business venture—a bakery—and a slow-burn realization that their love, like a good honeybun, is surprisingly shelf-stable.

After ten books, I’ve learned a lot about crafting witty, electric dialogue that brings characters to life. Banter isn’t just fluff—it’s foreplay, character development, and emotional pacing all in one. Whether you're writing enemies-to-lovers or childhood-friends-to-lovers (or, like me, two people arguing over the shelf life of a honeybun), sizzling banter can take your romance from forgettable to irresistible.

Here are my top tips for writing banter that truly pops:

1. Know your characters’ rhythms: Great banter starts with strong, distinct voices. Is one character sarcastic while the other is more sincere? Does one deflect with humor while the other dives straight to the heart of things? Opposing rhythms create tension—and tension is the heartbeat of banter.

2. Don’t aim for funny—aim for sharp: Not every line needs to be laugh-out-loud. Banter that “sizzles” comes from timing, surprise, and emotional undercurrents—not just punchlines. Think of it like fencing, not slapstick. Precision beats volume.

3. Let conflict be the catalyst: Banter lives at the intersection of friction and fascination. Use conflict as fuel. What do your characters disagree about? What are they hiding beneath their words? The best zingers often carry emotional weight beneath the surface.

Bonus: Banter that escalates can mirror a growing attraction or vulnerability.

4. Use subtext like a tease: Some of the sexiest lines are the ones that almost say what they mean. Let your characters flirt around their feelings, use double meanings, or challenge each other’s assumptions. Banter is a dance—don’t rush the steps.

5. Interrupt, overlap, cut off: Real conversation isn’t neat. People interrupt, misunderstand, and change the subject to dodge intimacy. Sprinkle in sentence fragments, interjections, and unfinished thoughts to keep it feeling real and emotionally charged.

For example:

“You think I’m—”

“Full of yourself? Yeah. But you wear it well.”

6. Read it out loud: This one’s simple but game-changing. Reading dialogue out loud helps you catch clunky phrasing, forced jokes, and unnatural pacing. If it doesn’t sound like something a real person would say (or want to say in a heated moment), tweak it.

7. Keep it snappy, not snarky: Wit doesn’t equal cruelty. There’s a fine line between clever jabs and toxic barbs. Banter should build chemistry, not destroy connection. If your characters are tearing each other down instead of lifting tension, rein it in.

8. Let it evolve with the relationship: Banter in chapter two should feel different from banter in chapter 20. As characters open up, let the humor shift from defensive to playful, from competitive to conspiratorial. Banter can be a beautiful measure of intimacy.

9. Give the last word (strategically): Who “wins” the exchange—and why—can say a lot. Maybe your love interest gets the last word because they’re emotionally one step ahead. Or maybe your main character walks away first, leaving things unresolved. Use it to show power shifts and emotional stakes.

10. Don’t forget the silence between lines: What a character doesn’t say can speak volumes. Pauses, sighs, glances—those beats in between can add depth, longing, or vulnerability that make the banter hit even harder.

If writing Shelf-stable Love has taught me anything so far, it’s that snappy dialogue isn’t just about sounding clever—it’s about creating chemistry readers can feel. Banter should make your characters more than voices on a page; it should make them irresistible, unforgettable, and utterly real.